Five Life Lessons

Our first ever post was about hitting rock bottom and how Messycafe rose from darkest depths into the glorifying light. We want to give thanks for everyone here whose enjoying and consistently reading our posts daily, thank you and we love you all so much! So, we thought we’d bring it back by providing some life lessons to everyone.

Here at Messycafe, we often provide advice, talk about the practice of slowing down, from trying to stay more present, to lessons learned from the pandemic and even one penned by yours truly on how to listen to my body. Sometimes it just takes that one little push in your life to force you to pause and just slow down, and establish an entirely new routine, shifting priorities almost immediately.

Why do we wait for pain and an accident to slow us down and pause, when it feels this good?

Lesson 1: Going hard and fast (with anything) doesn’t mean efficient.

Imaging going to a physical therapist and they gave you one exercise to do two times a day which focuses on activating and building strength in your hamstrings for roughly five minutes per round. It may look easy but your muscles will be burning, and the movement is harder than doing 40lb weighted squats. We’ve been so conditioned and marketed to believe that we need to spend 45+ minutes busting our bodies in a workout, when, we can build strength in an intentional and short amount of time.

This idea can help you reconsider your approach to work and relationships, visualizing the PT exercise as a guide to a slow build as a marker to strength and productivity.

Lesson 2: Pause from a place of pleasure vs. pain.

What is your relationship with boundaries on your calendar/schedule? Is it easy for you to say no, even if you have the time open?

We’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we hold our social calendars and book or overschedule ourselves. Taking that same energy you’ve had when you canceled plans due to a physical necessity and then apply it to your mental health as a necessity.

What that looks like in practice: calendar morning blockings for me time (movement, etc); booking yourself “free weeks” when keeping an entire week free from plans to focus on what needs to get done, and adding cal blocks to the day before/after travel so you can get ready before your trip and have a day to readjust after your trip. Owe it to yourself ‘cause you deserve it!

Lesson 3: What once suited me, might not anymore.

The always present reminder that it’s okay to change our minds as we are constantly evolving, learning, unlearning, and discovering new ways of living. The freedom in this is always exciting — it allows you to operate from a place of “newness,” and discovery. Not being able to run or go to a HIIT workout felt a little devastating as setting some new strength goals, but those would’ve only made the pain worse and the path to recovery longer. Discovering new ways of moving and build a completely new routine and schedule instead of fixating on just one certain way. When you open yourself up to more paths, it will allow you to grow and form more connections with others, leading you to a more social, healthier, and happy life. It’s a gift to release ourselves from the “shoulds” and focus on what we need for ourselves right now to push us forward.

Lesson 4: Share your experiences.

Personally, I’m typically bold about what I share (especially here!), I can also revert to a place of holding back because I don’t want people to feel they need to give me special attention. All of that is now thrown out the window because this experience has taught me the power of sharing; there is an entire community who has likely been through what you’re experiencing and they’ve got the potential to save you time, money, and resources. It’s also been wonderful for others to know what’s been going on so they have context or clarity around response time and interest.

It goes without saying, but of course, only share what is comfortable to you and only you.

Lesson 5: When something feels off, address it immediately.

The best and most important for last — let’s say an injury happened and something was wrong, you wouldn’t wait until the pain got worse to tell the doctor, right? Especially in the medical field, it’s crucial to tell the healthcare provider right away if anything is wrong.

Applying this same notion to relationships as well, if something feels a bit off, say something, and it may turn out to be really monumental moment, and a vulnerable and beautiful conversation that may lead to strengthening the bond.

Hard conversations or actions can feel really big and almost easier to put off, but it’s always always always worth it. We can do hard things.

When we are at some point of our lives where we are vulnerable we believe we have got life figured out. We start believing that we are now invincible and nobody can dare touch or harm us. However, it is a mistake to think like that. Life will never seize to inspire us. At every point we will have something new to learn about life. Hopefully these lessons will benefit you in one way or another. Just remember life should challenge you — be patient, trust the process, be optimistic, be kind, be responsible for your own decisions, hustle, and don’t care what others think.

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